


I Found You [Updates in Hiatus]

by crisdoesitall



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Anders Being Anders, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Background Relationships, Canon-Typical Violence, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Implied/Referenced Abuse, M/M, Multi, Past Abuse, Past Relationship(s), Slave Fenris (Dragon Age), Slavery, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-01
Updated: 2019-12-01
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:21:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 17,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21627502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crisdoesitall/pseuds/crisdoesitall
Summary: "Leto, is that really you?" His voice was but a slight whisper."...What are you speaking of?" The elf spat.In a world where Fenris and Anders met before the lyrium ghost emerged, Anders must learn to cope with knowing the elf will never remember him.Or will he?[This story is on a hiatus, until when is unknown. The state of my life is out of my hands currently. I’m sorry.]
Relationships: Anders/Fenris (Dragon Age)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 55





	1. Chapter 1

The sound of bare feet hitting cold, cement flooring was the only thing disrupting the absolute silence Hawke's team held as an elf approached them, dead body lying limp on the floor near him. He had just stuck his hand in the victim's chest, leaving nothing but death in its wake. 

He now looked to them, his eyebrows narrowed in a way that seemed like that's the only thing they knew how to do, his lips curled into an almost permanent scowl. 

"Leto?" 

Everyone's faces turned to stare at the robed mage standing stiff in his place as he stared at the elf in sight. 

"Anders? What are you saying? Is this some Justice stuff?" Hawke asked in pure confusion.

Anders could only stare at the white-haired elf, his eyes recognizing the little similarities he could pick out. 

"Leto, is that really you?" His voice was but a slight whisper, taking one step towards the elf before he stopped upon seeing the visible flinch it caused on the elf.

"What are you speaking of?" The elf spat, his face full of emotions, though most seeming to be unnecessary anger and confusion.

"...Oh." Anders could only let out, wanting to shrink into himself from embarrassment. "I must have the wrong person, then." He looked down to his feet, quickly being dismissed by the rest.

But, he didn't have the wrong person.

_He knew that._

_"Get out! Leave, kid, go steal from someone else!" The baker yelled at the blonde teenager as he chased him out of his store, never quick enough to reach the boy and take back what he stole._

_The kid only giggled loudly, "Thanks for the meal!" He yelled before running out of the store. He looked down to his hands, an innocent grin spreading across his face. 3 biscuits, sweet as they could be, all for him. It was better that what he was given in Kinloch Hold, that's for sure._

__

____

_He looked up to the city around him, it was Orlais in its finest, Val Royeaux. Was it a ridiculous idea to go to such a crowded and Templar-observed place after having escaped the Circle? Absolutely. But… he had only ever heard of the amazing taverns here, he hoped to see it with his own eyes for once. If he was caught… seeing this would make it worth it._

____

_____ _

_He walked quietly, keeping to the sidelines and blending into the crowds as best he could. It was a busy work day, and the clothes he managed to steal from one of the merchants kept him disguised. He had learned from his last 3 attempts._

_____ _

______ _ _

_Wearing robes definitely made it easier to be caught._

______ _ _

_______ _ _ _

_He snapped out of his thoughts when he bumped into a figure, flinching and backing up instantly. "Andraste's knickerweasels! I'm sorry, I wasn't-" He began to apologize, soon noticing who exactly he bumped into._

_______ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _

_A smaller elf, seemed around as old as he was, one that barely looked up to him, never meeting his eyes. His dark brown locks contrasted enough with his already tanned skin, his green eyes piercing among all the darkness. He was dressed in armor, his collar being the determinant factor of his state. He didn't speak, only offering a small nod, as if letting him know it was fine._

________ _ _ _ _

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_He seemed to be looking for something, he didn't see a mage nearby… Maybe he was the servant of one of the merchants? He had read enough of slaves in the Circle, but he had never imagined to see one in the flesh._

_________ _ _ _ _ _

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

_"Are you- you're a slave?" He asked innocently, his excitement getting the best of his logical thoughts and the nod he got made him gasp. "Oh, Maker! I've only ever read of those. So you really have a master? Wait, don't answer that. Sorry, I'm such an idiot." He rambled. This was the first actual conversation he'd had with someone since he left the Circle, besides being yelled at for stealing._

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_The elf once again only nodded._

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____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_"...Oh! Are you hungry? Here, I have one of my biscuits. Eat it quickly, that way your master won't notice!" He took a hushed tone, "People call me Anders. Do you have a name? You can tell me! I don't have anyone to tell… you see, I'm an escaped mage." He sighed a bit, his need to keep talking urging him to say more._ _"Maybe one day, both you and I will be free. Wouldn't that be amazing?" Anders rambled once more, pushing one of the few biscuits between the elf's toned arms and into his hands. It was noticeable this elf was trained to protect._

____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

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_”I… I am not allowed to speak to others." He whispered, his voice seeming to be developing… but already so deep._

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_"Oh, screw that. I won't tell your master. Come on! Quickly, before he calls for you." He urged the elf, who took a defeated breath._

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_"I am Leto." He spoke quietly, his eyes darting everywhere but Anders' eyes. "I am looking for an amulet for my master. He will be very displeased if I take too long." He looked down to his hands, bringing up the apple biscuit that Anders had handed him to his face. He took a deep sniff, a shaky sigh escaping him._

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________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_Anders grimaced, this elf was hungry. "Okay, Leto. That's a nice name." Anders lightened up as he spotted the slightest curl on the elf's lips._

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_"Leto, eat the biscuit. Shhh, don't you protest. Quickly, I won't tell your master. Go on!" He urged him, and Leto hesitated, before he almost swallowed the biscuit whole, then nodding his head. "Thank you… Anders." He whispered. "Will you be here any longer?" Anders didn't hesitate to ask, a soft smile spreading across his face as he saw Leto nodding. "We have an activity here. Master said he wished to visit the market tomorrow as well."_

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_Anders opened his mouth to speak, but a voice broke it._

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_”Leto!"_

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_The smooth, deep voice of an older man rang through the air, and Leto moved instantly. He didn't wave to Anders at all, hurrying back to his master._

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_Anders quietly slid into the crowd before the man could see him and that Leto spoke to someone. He took a deep breath, "How could someone live like that?" He whispered to himself. He'd be returning the next day, definitely. This Leto was interesting._

_____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

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_Perhaps he'd made a temporary friend, and if there was one thing Anders knew, its that everyone, absolutely everyone, deserves a friend._

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_He slept away from the actual city, a cave serving as a safe enough hideout for the night. It was a cold night, but that was remedied by a small fire Anders was able to start using magic._

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_He unwrapped the final biscuits from his small satchel, they were cold by now, but his stomach growled in ways he could never imagine, and even the rocks looked tasty. He bit into them, a satisfied sigh escaping him as he chewed._

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_He looked at the bitten biscuit in his hands and remembered how quickly that elf had eaten his own earlier… he must have been hungrier than Anders felt currently._

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__________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_He eventually fell asleep, only waking up when the sun was creeping into the cave far too much to be ignored._

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__

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	2. Chapter 2

_Tap, tap, tap_

"The mansion is nearby. We must be quiet, I am sure my former master is prepared for us. Do expect magic to be involved." The elf spoke firmly as they walked up the stairs to the Hightown mansions.

Hawke, Varric, Aveline and Anders trailed close behind the darker warrior, all silent. The only thing disrupting the silence was once more only bare and covered feet hitting hard pavement.

_Tap, tap, tap_

"This is the place. Again, we must be wary. I would not put it past him to put up a fight." The elf warned, and Hawke rolled her eyes.

"Hurry it up, Fenris, he could get away. We're more than capable. Lets go." She urged, and Fenris sighed in annoyance. He had only just met this woman and he already knew she was a pain. He looked to his target, nodding before he opened the door.

Once inside, the five looked around, Fenris tensing up quite noticeably. "Danarius! Show yourself!" He yelled out roughly, his gauntleted hand firm on his greatsword as his swirly lyrium markings lit up the room with their blue-tinted glow.

Anders, whom had been watching the elf cautiously the whole time, took a hitched breath at the mere mention of that name. Now he knew, it had to be him. There was no way he truly simply had the wrong husky elf all along.

_"Found you!"_

_The elf flinched visibly as Anders stood in front of him, a gleeful grin spread across his face. Once again they found themselves in the midst of Val Royeaux, crowds of nobles providing necessary cover for them as Anders caught Leto searching for his master's forgotten coat in one of the merchants' stores._

_”Thought I wouldn't hold my end of the bargain, Leto? I told you I'd see you again. There's no need to be afraid, I won't hurt you like the others do. Or so I've read that's what happens with slaves… Either way, I'm not scary!"_

__

_"My master only hurts me so that I can be better. He says it hurts him more than it wounds me." Leto spoke in his usual quiet and hesitant voice._

____

_"You know, I've only ever seen one person say that… My father said it hurt him more than it hurt me to send me away to the Circle. In reality, I know he simply wanted the cursed mage child out of his village and being kept in a prison for everyone else's safety. Perhaps your master doesn't truly mean that." Anders spoke softly, pulling out another stolen biscuit he had gotten just for Leto._

_____ _

_"I figured you liked them." He offered the elf a beaming face._

______ _ _

_"Master wouldn't enjoy me speaking ill of him." Leto retorted, making Anders sigh. So this was what slaves were like… it hurt him to see. But, he simply smiled widely and handed the elf the sweet._

_______ _ _ _

_"Well, I now care for you too. But, I, unlike your master, won't hurt you for character development." He spoke and let out a snort, Leto too occupied swallowing down the biscuit to answer._

________ _ _ _ _

_"Thank you." The elf spoke quietly, Anders only giggling further. "No need to thank me."_

_________ _ _ _ _ _

_"Tell me, Leto, do you have a family besides your master?" Anders began, after a small pause. "I remember my own family. I don't have anyone now, though. Is it the same for you?"_

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

_"I have my mother and sister." Leto answered suit. "Though they are not here today. It is only me and Master." He whispered._

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_”You have a mother and sister? Thats amazing! I was an only child. My mother was so sweet. She made the best pies…" Anders smiled to himself by now, though he was surprised to see Leto with the slightest smile as he looked to the ground. "My mother makes amazing pie too," He whispered. "Sometimes Master lets us eat from it."_

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_”Really? Maker, we're both so similar. Both kept under watch, like prisoners. Both have moms who make great pie!" Anders giggled, Leto's smile stretching out in the slightest._

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_"I wish we could run away together. We could make a new life together, Leto! Get to know each other more and see the world. I've only ever read of what it's like to travel by boat without having someone, templar or master, escort you the whole way. Wouldn't you like to see that one day?" He spoke to Leto, his tone and eyes looking dreamy and sounding like he was almost praying it would happen._

______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_"I do not think that will ever happen… but perhaps it does sound good." Leto's whisper almost faded to soundless mouthing, Anders grinning widely anyway. "It does, doesn't it?" He whispered dreamily._

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_"Hey, will you stay here any longer?"_

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_"A few more days. Master has a party with some Orlesian nobles. It takes place here. The activity is in two days." Leto spoke to the ground, his hands fumbling between themselves. "...Will you be there?"_

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_”Only to see you." Anders grinned widely, "I'll keep you company when your master isn't looking." He giggled playfully. His innocent joy had Leto in a trance, the overwhelming contrast of emotion between this new mage and the ones he was around usually was a lot._

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_"Will you be coming to the market again?" Anders asked._

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_”I do not know. I doubt it, as Master has already bought what he needed. But I… I hope to see you in the activity, Anders." Leto looked up to Anders for a split second, green, piercing eyes, meeting those golden ones that would forever be engraved in Leto's memory now._

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_”I'll follow the trail of snobby Orlesians to you. Just you see."_

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_”Danarius, isn't that your lost pet?"_

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_Leto flinched, tensing up harshly at the loud words that pierced through the rest of the conversations nobles had around them. "Who is that with him?"_

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_”Forgive me. Is he your slave? I was simply asking him where his master was." Anders quickly improvised, the light skinned female walking over and yanking Leto away harshly._

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_”Hadriana, take him away." A much older man, posture that resembled that of a tree to Anders, stood not too far away, eyes glaring daggers onto the mage. His smile sent shiver down Anders' spine. "Thank you, serrah. He is my slave. He tends to get lost sometimes. Hopefully, that will be trained off. You understand, no?"_

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_Anders forced himself to smile, it fading when Leto's eyes met his, and they both exchanged apologetic looks before being separated completely._

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	3. Chapter 3

"You send your pets to do your dirty work, Danarius! Come meet your fate yourself!" 

Fenris walked ahead of Hawke, Varric, Aveline and Anders. His hunched back and widely spread legs didn't help his lanky figure, yet Anders was all too familiar with this stance on the elf. Even then, it seems it has gotten worse.

The elf flinched at every little sound, his eyes darted around as if he felt he was watched. His hand was permanently attached to the hilt of his greatsword, ready to battle when necessary.

"You think we'll find him?" Hawke asked,"This place is full of demons. I don't spot a single Magister." 

"He hides. If he is anywhere in the mansion, he must be protecting himself." Fenris spoke plainly. 

They reached the main room, unlocking the door to what appeared to be the master bedroom with a key they had found in one of the rooms. It was to no avail, there was no one in there.

"Venedhis!" Fenris was only able to let out one curse before they heard the rise of demons behind them.

They engaged in battle instantly, Fenris' markings lighting up the place as his sword was pulled out. 

Varric already worked on providing fire from above, while Fenris, Aveline, and Hawke all ran down the stairs to meet the demons halfway.

Anders… he was very distracted. He only got a few spells in before he caught himself stopping to watch Fenris as he worked. His mind was boggled with thoughts… flooded with memories of the brunette that he once met. The elf that had so much more to offer… but his slave collar prevented it. 

If only…

"Anders, by the fucking Maker! I need healing!" 

Hawke screamed, causing the blonde to flinch out of his thoughts before a wave of healing was sent towards Hawke. 

_'Focus.'_ He could tell this was Justice warning him, sensing the disappointment from the spirit very clearly. "Help me, then." He mumbled under his breath. As if heard, his skin broke into small rays of blue, and he worked more swiftly while still in control.

_'He has only been here for a few minutes and he has already proven to be a distraction. This is not good for our cause.'_

Anders knew Justice was angry now. These thoughts were heavily referencing that. He only sighed, focusing on healing.

_"Found you,"_

__

_Anders smiled at the slave in front of him, one who stood outside of a merchant's stall, on guard, waiting for his master to finish speaking to the scribe inside._

____

_”Anders," Leto’s voice was soft as he felt a smile tug at his mouth. "It is risky for you to approach me now. Master is not too far away." The male spoke a little hushed, Anders simply holding back a giggle. "I know. But I like a little risk. Wasn't that obvious enough with the escapee mage description?"_

_____ _

_"I suppose. I did not think you were that much of a thrill seeker, though."_

______ _ _

_”Oh, shush it. For a slave, you're a real tease."_

_______ _ _ _

_Leto shook his head, though he smiled. "I aim to please."_

________ _ _ _ _

_Anders had to hold back another giggle, it instead becoming a light shove to Leto's shoulder._

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_”Y'know, Leto, I like you already. There's a lot more you can give than you show… If only we were in different circumstances. Perhaps random farmers, or simple villagers whose parents worked locally and nearby. I could try your mother's pie." Anders leaned against the wall Leto stood by._

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_"I could try your mother's as well."_

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_"We could share."_

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_”That sounds inviting."_

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_”It does, doesn't it?" Anders sighed a bit, "I hope my freedom lasts enough to at least be able to travel a bit more. I've only stayed here because I met you, and I get so little interaction… I couldn't let the opportunity slip."_

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_”Can you not simply keep running? What is keeping you?"_

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_”The templars have my phylactery. They use blood magic to track me. Ironic, huh? They ban blood magic yet use it themselves." Anders shook his head as he spoke, Leto looking to the floor._

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_"The Magisters use blood magic constantly in Tevinter. Master enjoys it as well. I thought all mages would utilize it."_

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_”What? No! I would never do blood magic. It's foolish." Anders chuckled, "Maybe one day the Magisters will figure that out too. Realize that mages can do good, and help others realize the same thing. We should be free, we should all be free. Freedom is all I want." Anders looked to Leto, "Wouldn't you agree?"_

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_There was a small silence._

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_”...Yes."_

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_”Then we have something in common." Anders giggled, "As well as our mothers' amazing pie!"_

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Freedom is something Anders and Fenris have had in common.
> 
> Leto and Young Anders agree.
> 
> hope you guys like it!!! sorry if its short!!


	4. Chapter 4

Heavy breaths now filled the silence.

Corpses surrounded the place, though the group had done nothing to cause it. They had only fought the undead beings that rose from the ground as if they were moles ready to reach out to the open for air. 

They had done all this… and there was no sign of the man they searched for; no sign of Danarius.

"This is to be expected of him. Danarius can never seem to fight his own battles." Fenris almost growled out. "I am sure he must have left some valuable things behind. You are free to take it. I need some fresh air." He spoke plainly, turning on his heel and walking out without another word.

"Okay, he's gone. Care to explain what the hell that was out there, Anders?" Hawke asked quickly as she rummaged through the closets and containers, Varric and Aveline doing the same.

"Yeah, Blondie. That was some next level confusing stuff, and you're already confusing as is." Varric added, though half distracted by the salvage.

"Sorry. It's nothing. I… must have confused him for someone else. Just ignore me." Anders quickly answered, his mind muddled with thoughts, unsure if his own or Justice's. 

_'He is Leto.'_

_'But he doesn't remember me.'_

_'He should.'_

_'But he doesn't.'_

"Fine. Keep your secrets. Still made us look horrible in the first 5 seconds of knowing this guy." Varric let out a light chuckle, Anders sighing.

Outside, Fenris kicked himself off the wall he leaned on once the creak of the wooden door interrupted his thoughts. He looked towards the four as they walked towards him, eyebrows narrowed and mouth modeling its now-typical scowl. "It never ends." 

Hawke crossed her arms, everyone listening intently.

"I escaped a land of evil, only to have it haunt me at every turn." He spoke towards nothing at first, up until those piercing green eyes that were beginning to become all-too familiar met golden ones, but not in the way Anders had once wished they would, no. 

That glare… it was full of hate.

"I should have realized sooner what you were." Fenris spat. 

"Ah." Anders simply spoke, Justice rumbling in his brain. If he were honest…hearing these words right now, from this elf, hurt more than he imagined. Yet, at the same time, he had to get over it, and quickly.

He couldn't linger on a man that seemed to be left behind, or a man that he has mistaken to be this elf. 

He couldn't linger on Leto.

"Here it comes." Anders stated, and Fenris growled. He looked as if he was actually going to give Anders the discourse the mage expected, but it never came. The elf looked to Hawke, sighing. "I apologize if I seem ungrateful, as it is far from that. I appreciate the fact that you assisted me in this. Here is all the coin I possess." Fenris handed Hawke a decent bag of coin.

"If you are in need of any extra swords, I am more than willing to offer my own assistance in payment as well."

"Actually, I could use an extra hand. I'm planning an expedition to the Deep Roads. Wanna tag along?" Hawke smiled, Fenris nodding. "As you wish, it would be my pleasure."

Anders could only catch a glimpse at those green eyes before he kept to himself. 

_"Found you."_

__

_Anders flinched, looking behind him to find a familiar smaller elf. He was surprised to see Leto so suddenly, usually it was himself who had to go out of his way to find him. "You managed to get to me this time!" He giggled. "Your master, he's here again?"_

____

_”He is. I think he is visiting every day. It is not like he has much more to do, and the nobles who will be attending the activity are around as well. Perhaps he is summoned? I do not truly know." Leto sighed, "But, it works out in our favor, no? He is not paying much attention to me. He dismissed me a bit ago. Told me to check out the merchants and find him something decent. Care to accompany me?"_

_____ _

_Anders' grin could not get any bigger. His hair was loose, it moving as he nodded his head in excitement. "Yes!" He held himself back so he wouldn't scream it out. To hang out with his new friend? It was like a blessing. Perhaps the Maker truly was present._

______ _ _

_Anders walked alongside Leto, looking at every little thing around them with joy. The elf, in contrast, was sunken into himself, a habit he would not shake off in few days. Their feet, bare and clothed created small sounds, it being the only thing the two emitted for a bit. They enjoyed silence, presence being the only thing necessary as they tried to find something for Leto's master._

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_”Leto! How's this look?!" Anders swirled, a cape draped on his shoulders. It moved with the lean male, making him giggle. "Do I look like an evil magister?"_

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_Leto couldn't resist the smile that creeped onto his cheeks. "Anders, if I answer that question and Master hears me, I'll be killed."_

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_”That's a yes, then!" Anders laughed joyfully before he put the cape back over the mannequin it had rested on._

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_They did find a rune, a blank one, at that. Leto had said Danarius searched for a blank runestone, so the find would please his master._

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_”I was given coin to pay for it. Let me do so and I'll be right back." Leto looked at Anders shortly, before heading to the merchant and dealing with the swift transaction._

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_”I am done."_

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_"Good, come on!"_

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_Anders took the elf's hand, pulling him out of the store and running with him to the bakery he always stormed. "Pick a sweet. I know you're into them!" He grinned to Leto, whom hummed in thought. "I do not wish to impose."_

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_”Oh, hush. Just pick one, dummy."_

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_Leto sighed, looking at the array and eventually deciding on a piece of pie. "Easy." Anders commented, grinning widely before he planned his plot. "Wait for me outside, Leto. I'll be there in a second."_

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_Leto nodded, walking outside and leaning against the wall to wait patiently._

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_Anders sneaked behind the display, grabbing a piece of the pies Leto had chosen to eat. He grabbed himself a muffin, then running out instantly._

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_”Hey! It's the same little gremlin!" The baker yelled, running behind Anders._

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_Anders simply laughed, grabbing Leto's hand and pulling him harshly as he kept running. "Hurry! Run!" He spoke in half giggle, Leto doing as told though confused._

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_They traversed merchant stalls, soon losing the baker, whom gave up and returned to his store. Anders only stopped when they were in a small alleyway, both boys panting heavily._

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_"Haha! Did you see the baker's face?! Worth it." Anders giggled._

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_Leto kept quiet at first, panting as his hands rested on his knees for rest. He didn't know how he felt… he was sweating, his body rushing with adrenaline. He hadn't felt this in so long, he had forgotten it. The adrenaline that filled his very being in a matter of seconds. He felt alive._

________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_**Free.** _

_______________________****_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_But that was a feeling that left quickly._

_______________________**__** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_He wasn't free._

_______________________**__** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_But even then, he couldn't help the laughs that escaped his body. "Anders! You did not say you would be stealing the food! Master would…" His voice failed him, and he kept quiet._

_______________________**__** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__”I… You are right." Leto smiled, Anders giggling loudly. "Here! I got you the biggest piece I could reach."_ _

_______________________**_____ _ ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_”Thank you."_

_______________________**______ _ _ ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_They both ate their meal, soon walking out again. Their time was cut short yet again, Danarius catching them through the corner of his eye. "Leto!" He yelled roughly, and Leto's happiness faded instantly. It was like he became a different person in front of Anders' eyes._

_______________________**_______ _ _ _ ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_”Master," The male's voice lowered to its usual whisper, one Anders was beginning to dislike._

_______________________**________ _ _ _ _ ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_”Is this the same man from yesterday? Pet… What have I told you?"_

_______________________**_________ _ _ _ _ _ ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_”I am not allowed to speak to others."_

_______________________**__________ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_"And what did you do?"_

_______________________**___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_”...I spoke to another."_

_______________________**____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_”Excuse me."_

_______________________**_____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_Danarius looked to Anders, though Leto only tensed up more. "Yes? Do you not see I am doing something?"_

_______________________**______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_”Serrah, I am but the son of one of the merchants. I saw your slave again today at our shop and offered to help him find his master something. Forgive me, it was my mistake." Anders' fake bravery helped for a bit, but if Danarius didn't buy this… both he and Leto were done for._

_______________________**_______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_”...I see. You have my thanks, then. Forgive my display." Danarius smiled, "Come, pet."_

_______________________**________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_Leto walked to Danarius quietly, and was led away by the same male._

_______________________**_________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_Anders only watched, sighing in defeat before he turned to leave._

_______________________**__________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_He only wished he could do more than simply watch._

_______________________**__________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh Danarius.
> 
> hope you guys like it so far!!!


	5. Chapter 5

"Maker, damn it all!"

 _Slam, crash, thud, sigh._

Anders took deep breaths as he leaned against his desk, hands hard against the old wood, glass bottles broken, pages scattered, ink spilled, all over the pavement. His hair was a mess, feathers from his robe slowly drifting until they were stopped by the floor. 

"That can't be him. Maker, please tell me it isn't him."

_'The Maker has never answered to us. Why would he now?'_

__

He had no idea if he thought that, or if Justice did. At this point, there was barely a way to know.

__

His jaw clenched, his hands turned to shaky fists. He was angry, he was hurt, he felt like he was that naive teenager again, marvelling on the beauty of the outside world.

__

"I kissed that idiot! It was childish, it was sweet. But it was a fucking kiss! Yet, he doesn't remember me?!" He growled to himself. His hissy fit wouldn't have surprised anyone that knew him well enough, it certainly wouldn't surprise the Warden Commander if he were there. 

__

_'We must calm down. It is not important.'_

____

Oh, this he knew was Justice.

____

But… he slowly relaxed, his stiff hands falling limp on his side as he stared up to the rusty ceiling of his clinic. Thankfully the lamp was off, he was there alone.

____

"I can't believe I'm here getting all wrapped up over a childhood friend. Over…" He sighed in defeat, the mere thought of the name brought him those little preserved memories he had of the elf.

____

He would never admit how captivated he had been by that elf in such little time. The elf was quiet, reserved, like any other slave, but upon one look in those piercing green eyes you could tell he had a special fire to him. He had fight left inside. 

____

"Leto."

____

"He called me Leto." Fenris looked down to his bottle of Aggregio Pavali, his eyes then travelling up to meet Hawke's. "That is a Tevene name. Is he a former Magister?" 

____

"No. He's a former Circle Mage, a former Grey Warden. Don't think there's any space there for 'former Tevinter Magister'."

____

"The name sounds familiar. I do not know why." Fenris sighed, taking a swig at the wine. It tasted like freedom. There was nothing better than this. "Perhaps I heard it once when I travelled with Danarius."

____

"You sure? It looked like he knew you."

____

"Unless he was a former Magister, or at the very least an apprentice to a Magister, there's no way that mage knows me." Fenris shook his head bluntly. "I do not have any memories before I received these, but I do know I was merely a slave before that as well. He must have mistaken me for another slave or a servant." He spoke as he looked down to the delicate white lines that coated his visible skin. 

____

"Eh. Don't pay much mind to him. Anders is a lil' wrong in the brain." Hawke giggled, "He's a good healer though. I wouldn't piss him off. Y'know what they say about getting the healer angry."

____

"I do not care if he is a good healer or not, there is not one mage out there that isn't dangerous." He paused, quickly changing the subject before Hawke was able to open her mouth in protest.

____

"Aggregio Pavali. Danarius used to have me pour this for his guests. I was never allowed to try it." He then stood up from his chair, taking another swig at his wine before throwing it at the wall and letting the broken pieces scatter on the floor. 

____

"It's the little things that feel the best."

____

He spoke, before those words faded to nothing, and the thought of that blighted mage confusing him for a certain 'Leto' lingering no matter what.

____

_'There he is, Leto.'_

_____ _

_Anders smiled to himself as he spotted that familiar head of short brunette locks between the massive crowd of snobby Orlesian nobles. The one available building was now occupied by the activity Leto had spoken of. Anders had no idea what exactly it was for or about, but quite frankly he didn't care. He was only there to see his newfound friend._

______ _ _

_Anders could tell Leto was getting a bit more confident when speaking to him, even looking at him for short amounts of time before returning to his usual lowered head. Hell, he laughed with him in the alleyway!_

_______ _ _ _

_That made him happier than he'd like to think._

________ _ _ _ _

_Anders was an expert in climbing by now, after his attempts to climb down Kinloch Hold or having to scale up building to escape the templars found him, so finding his way up to a vacant window to look inside the building was no real challenge. He looked inside, scanning the giant ballroom quietly until he spotted the target._

_________ _ _ _ _ _

_Leto stood near a window himself, basically a shadow behind the taller man Anders had come to know as Danarius._

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

_Anders felt a grin creep into his face involuntarily at the sight of his new friend, and he hurried to try and reach the edge of the window behind the elf._

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_Swift jumps and quick grips quickly halted as he finally reached the edge of the window he could see Leto in front of. He give the glass pane the lightest tap, but with the elf's trained ears, he looked to the window._

____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_The small smile that spread across Leto's face showed just how welcome Anders was, though it disappeared when he remembered he stood behind his master._

_____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_"Danarius, let's go dance! Leave your pet here, his feet will only dirty the dancefloor. We've stood here all night, grant me at least a few dances." Hadriana's whines seemed to finally get the best of Danarius, whom sighed in defeat. "Perhaps a few dances would not hurt. Leto, my little pet, stay here for the time being."_

______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_”Yes, Master."_

_______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_Once the two had left, Leto hurried to the window, opening it quickly. He hesitantly took Anders' hand, pulling him inside. Anders restrained his giggles, once inside, they closed the window and quickly played it off. "Found you," He teased, "I'm getting quite good at that."_

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_”It seems so. You've found me consistently these past 4 days." Leto let out a small smile._

_________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_”I'm sorry we got caught last time. Did Danarius…?"_

__________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_"No, Master thought you were truly just the nosy son of a merchant."_

___________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_Anders let out a sigh of relief, smiling widely. "Good, I was worried I had gotten you in trouble."_

____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_”It would have been worth it. I... had fun." Leto spoke simply, Anders not hesitating to take his hand and squeezing it. "I told you that unlike others, I don't wish cause you pain. I'm keeping that promise."_

_____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_Leto tensed up at the contact, but his hand squeezed Anders' after a bit before they mutually let go._

______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_”We leave tomorrow evening." Leto began, grimacing more than he usually does. "It is a shame we will never see eachother again." He admitted quietly, his voice dropping to that typical whisper you could barely catch unless you listened closely._

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_”Will you be in Val Royeaux?" Anders asked quietly._

________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_”I believe we will only come briefly for Master's lunch. I do not think I will have time to see you." He sighed._

_________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_"Well," Anders grinned widely. "Just in case we can't see eachother tomorrow, I'll give you one thing that'll ensure you always remember me. My mother gave me one when she found out I was going to the Circle."_

__________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_"What is it?"_

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_Anders took Leto's face in his hands, plastering a loud kiss over the elf's lips. "She said it's the best way to say goodbye forever." He then let go of Leto, whom stood dumbfounded for a moment._

____________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_Anders then felt soft hands on his face, before he too was given a loud kiss, though a more hesitant one. "I shall return it then."_

_____________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_The two looked at each other for a moment before Anders giggled, Leto smiling slightly, although his eyes were filled with rare, unadulterated joy._

______________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_"Thank you, Anders. You have made this trip the best one I have taken part of."_

_______________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_"And you, Leto, have made this escape the most fun one I've had."_

_______________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> how to make two kids kiss without making it romantic 101
> 
> also- i feel leto would be a bit more open before the markings and memory loss. even if still in the slave mentality.
> 
> feel like this one's short. sorry bout that!!
> 
> hope you guys like it so far!!


	6. Chapter 6

_Leto took a deep breath, standing guard behind his master quietly. The magister currently ate a meal, accompanied by Hadriana._

__

_As always, Leto was not welcome to eat a meal as well, so he simply stood next to them, looking around for any potential threats._

____

_It was then that he spotted the familiar messy blonde hair, the familiar face of Anders looking back at him. They were far away from each other, but both well knew who they were looking at. Leto had thought he'd never see that face again after the activity the day before, but he supposed it was good that he was able to at least look at the mage one last time._

_____ _

_But… Perhaps he could do more than just that._

______ _ _

_”Master," Leto began, looking down at the ground submissively as Danarius turned to look at him._

_______ _ _ _

_”Yes, Leto? Why do you disturb my meal?"_

________ _ _ _ _

_"May I be allowed to take a stroll throughout the market as you enjoy your meal? I saw templars eyeing you earlier, Master. I only wish to make sure they are gone."_

_________ _ _ _ _ _

_Danarius raised an eyebrow, Leto feeling the man's cold glaze on him. "...You're lucky I have a soft spot for you, my pet. You have three minutes."_

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

_”Thank you, Master." The elf bowed, though he spotted Danarius's boot poking out of his robes. He then fell to the ground on his knees, kissing the man's boot a few times. "Thank you."_

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_”Go, pet. Return in three minutes."_

____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_"Yes, Master." Leto got up, hurrying out._

_____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_He spotted Anders from afar, and as soon as he was away from Danarius' eyesight, he began running towards the male._

______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_”Leto!"_

_______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_"I found you!" Leto let himself laugh freely, enjoying his last 3 minutes of happiness before he was to return to his normal life._

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_"I found you!" Anders giggled, running around with him happily. They simply did that for a bit, soon stopping and panting together. "I only have 2 minutes." Leto spoke._

_________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_"At least we already got our goodbyes over with yesterday, no?" Anders giggled, Leto nodding with a small smile._

__________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_"How did you-" "There he is!"_

___________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_Both males quickly stood straight, Anders tensing up when he saw who had spotted them._

____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_**Templars.** _

___________________****_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_"Oh no, oh no- Leto, I-" He panicked, "I have to go. I'm sorry, I-" "Just run, Anders!"_

___________________**__** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_Anders' eyes widened when Leto pushed him, urging him to escape. Anders began running, the templars close on his trail._

___________________**____ ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_Leto took a deep breath, grimacing quickly once they were out of sight. "So much for that." He mumbled to himself, "At least he...he will prevail." He smiled softly, then walking back to the tavern._

___________________**_____ _ ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_He returned to Danarius in time, standing guard once more._

___________________**______ _ _ ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_They only left once Danarius and Hadriana had finished their meal, but their exit was interrupted._

___________________**_______ _ _ _ ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_Many merchants, nobles, travelers and even soldiers gathered around the entrance, the clink of metal hitting the pavement and the gasps, murmurs and yells of the nobles letting Leto know something was definitely going on._

___________________**________ _ _ _ _ ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_He gripped his greatsword just in case, following Danarius and Hadriana as they were also intrigued by the situation, and it was in the way of them and their successful exit._

___________________**_________ _ _ _ _ _ ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_It wasn't until Leto caught eye of what exactly was going on that he gasped involuntarily._

___________________**__________ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_Anders._

___________________**___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_He witnessed the mage being dragged out of Val Royeaux by his hair, since he had loosened himself from every other hold._

___________________**____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_The mage cried, kicked, pushed to no avail. He could be seen trying to cast spells, but it appeared he was silenced._

___________________**_____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_"No! You can't do this! I'm not dangerous, I- I just want to be free, please."_

___________________**______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_”Shut him up."_

___________________**_______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_The templar next to the one who dragged away the mage took out his sword, but just before he could hit the mage, Leto met Anders' eyes._

___________________**________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_They both spoke their final words with only looks, Anders sparing him a smile. How could that idiot smile in that situation?_

___________________**_________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_He could never find out, as the Templar lifted his sword, smacking Anders on the head with its hilt. It made the mage lose consciousness, leaving a limp body being dragged behind them._

___________________**__________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_"Weakling. What a shame." Danarius shook his head, Leto looking back down to the ground. His hands formed fists as he had just witnessed his new friend be dragged off to his prison._

___________________**___________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_He would **never** forget this._

___________________**____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________**__________________________________**___________________

_____ _

"Alright, guys. Here's the plan." 

Hawke grinned as she looked at her map, then to the surrounding terrain. Her, Varric, Anders, Fenris and the added Isabela stood in the middle of the Wounded Coast, searching for a group of Qunari Tal-Vashoths. 

****

___________________**____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

****

"We follow the path Javaris gave us, and then we kill all of 'em. But before that, we stop to look at the sunset!" Hawke grinned, Varric chuckling, "Sure, Hawke. Shame we forgot the wine, too."

****

___________________**____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

****

Hawke giggled, Anders and Isabela also offering a small chuckle. Fenris simply kept quiet.

****

___________________**____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

****

"Seriously, though. These are Qun we're talking about. Weapons out, let's stay alert." Everyone did as told, walking together and observing their surroundings. 

****

___________________**____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

****

"Do I know you from somewhere, Isabela? You seem so familiar… Oh! I know! Weren't you in Denerim?"

****

___________________**____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

****

"Wait, weren't you the little mage in The Pearl? The one who knew the electricity trick?" 

****

___________________**____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

****

"Ahhh! Yes! That- ehm, that was me." Anders chuckled nervously. "I remember you were really into this one woman… what was her name?"

****

___________________**____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

****

"The Lay Warden. Oh, I sure remember her." Isabela giggled. "Do you still know that little electricity trick? I would love to revisit it." She teased Anders, whom only chuckled.

****

___________________**____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

****

"I very much still know it. That I'd be willing to repeat it, well that's a different story." 

****

___________________**____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

****

"Awww, that Justice guy made you boring."

****

___________________**____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

****

"Justice may be in me-" He was interrupted by Isabela's snort, which he chuckled at. "I mean joined with me! Anyways, I can do what I want in that department. I just don't feel the need to."

****

___________________**____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

****

"Still boring."

****

___________________**____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

****

"I suppose." Anders rolled his eyes, though he smiled. 

****

___________________**____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

****

"Who is this Justice?" 

****

___________________**____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

****

Both Anders and Isabela turned to look at Fenris, still walking as they did. "Ah, well." Anders sighed, talking with this elf always made him get uneasy. All he could think of was Leto.

****

___________________**____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

****

"Justice is a spirit of, well, justice. He and I are one." 

****

___________________**____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

****

"So you are… an abomination." Fenris' glare turned into legitimate anger, "Hawke, I was not told of the abomination in your team."

****

___________________**____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

****

"I didn't think it mattered, Fenris. Anders and Justice are both safe. It's under control."

****

___________________**____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

****

Fenris shook his head, "They're all the same. No matter what, mages always succumb to demons. All it takes is a little power." 

****

___________________**____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

****

"Are you serious right now?" Anders raised an eyebrow, half asking Fenris, the other half hoping his Leto side would show. "Justice is a spirit, not a demon. There's a difference, you know. Also, an abomination wouldn't be able to have this conversation with you." He then looked away to the path in front of them, shaking his head. "Not all mages are like the ones you see in Tevinter. There's a big difference."

****

___________________**____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

****

"Magister, mage, it is irrelevant. They are all dangerous."

****

___________________**____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

****

"Right, just because an innocent man was born with the gift of magic he's automatically a vicious killer. Your logic astounds me."

****

___________________**____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

****

"Magic is not a gift, it is a curse."

****

___________________**____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

****

"Oh, for fuck's sake-" "Guys, we're here. Stop bickering."

****

___________________**____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

****

Anders shut himself up, Justice rumbling through his mind. 

****

___________________**____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

****

_'This is not how I remember Leto.'_

****

___________________**____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

****

_'No. This is Fenris.'_

****

___________________**____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

****

_'I do not like this new version of Leto.'_

****

___________________**____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

****

_'Fenris.'_

****

___________________**____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

****

And he was right.

****

___________________**____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

****

This was not Leto, the boy he once knew.

****

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This was Fenris, and Fenris hated him already.

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An absolute amount of fighting later, the final Tal-Vashoth fell limp on the ground with a loud thud.

****

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"Easy! Wow, Qun men drop faster than I expected." Hawke laughed as she dusted off her hands, slipping her daggers back into their holsters. "Let's get back to Kirkwall. We've got an Arishok to meet."

****

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The walk back to Kirkwall was long, and it was becoming nighttime.

****

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The team set up a small camp, all coming prepared for this. They had food and now heat, thanks to Anders, so they would last the night just fine, provided nothing attacks them.

****

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Anders sat by the fire, quietly warming himself up as he was lost in thought once more. It seemed to be typical nowadays.

****

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"Mage."

****

___________________**____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

****

_'I found you.'_

****

___________________**____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

****

"What?"

****

___________________**____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

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_'And I found you.'_

****

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"You called me Leto."

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****

Anders sighed, "Fuck off. After your discourse about how dangerous I am, I want nothing to do with you."

****

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"I only wish to know who this Leto was."

****

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"He was a slave I met when I was younger." 

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"Does he look lik-"

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"Yes. Now shut up."

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Fenris growled, walking away upon seeing the conversation was truly going nowhere.

****

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****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woah this was long!! 
> 
> anders and fenris will hate eachother at first. buckle up everyone because here we go 
> 
> using templars for character development™
> 
> hope yall like it so far!


	7. Chapter 7

Hawke learned a lesson.

That lesson was 'Don't take Anders and Fenris anywhere together unless you wish to hear bickering all day.'

So, after a few more missions, she began to leave Anders behind, taking Fenris and Merrill instead. It was still bad, but far less than if Anders were around.

Until now.

"Okay, listen up. I'm taking you three because I think you're the most capable for this. Although Bethany, you just insisted too damn hard." Hawke smiled, Bethany, her sister, giggling. "Sorry, Hawke. I have to."

"Anders, Fenris, come on guys." Hawke looked to them, "Cooperate for me."

"No promises." "We shall see."

Varric led them until Bartrand took the lead, and they began diving deeper and deeper into the Deep Roads. 

A few days had already passed by. Anders was over it, he hadn't missed the blighted Deep Roads and he sure wasn't enjoying them now. Currently they had met an obstacle. "Sodding ancestors! How the hell do you all expect to get out of here if you can't work on this?! I paid you all for a reason! Find a bloody way!"

"Bartrand, how about Hawke, the team and I head off and try to find an alternate path. You can settle down and relax." Varric put a hand on his stressed brother, whom nodded before he returned to his yelling.

Hawke walked with them all through a separate path, killing darkspawn all throughout the way. 

"Ah, I wish Pounce were here. He'd be right at home." Anders spoke to himself and to Justice, taking a deep breath to try and release tension. Nobody replied, as he expected, but it lightened him up to simply speak.

"Hm," Fenris simply offered, Anders raising an eyebrow. "What." His words came off more demanding than questioning, "Now I can't even speak of my blighted cat?"

"I did not say a thing."

"Of course, you didn't."

"Perhaps that attitude might get you killed in the Circle. You should return, and actually stay there."

"Oh, haha. Very funny."

"I am serious. How sure can we be that you won't just run off when you find the chance? You ran away from the Circle, ran away from the Wardens… it seems like a habit."

"Running away from your…" Anders stopped.

_'I have a mother and a sister. They are not here today.'_

_'My mother makes amazing pie as well. Sometimes master lets us eat some.'_

"Pardon?"

Anders didn't say a thing, walking quietly. Fenris eventually gave up on the subject himself, it seemed, since he kept quiet as well.

They ended up finding a path, clearing one, at that. They then kept going, soon finding a small temple like area, or was it thaig? Varric would know, but the rest were just confused. 

They spotted a figurine over a pedestal, one that glew deep red.

"Don't go near that thing. I sense magic, and not the good kind." Anders spoke up.

Hawke ignored him quite visibly, reaching in to grab it. Nothing happened, so she grinned. "Jackpot." 

"We should tell Bartrand. He'd want to see this." Varric grinned, and as it he heard, Bartrand walked in. "Brother! We found this figure. Looks pretty expensive, don't you think?" Varric took the idol from Hawke's hand and walked towards his brother.

"Oh, it does."

Once the idol was in Batrand's hand, the male walked out and closed the door behind him, leaving them inside.

"Well, shit." Hawke spoke after the panic had settled, looking around. "We'll find a way out. Don't worry guys."

The team ventured through the cold blooded Deep Roads in hope to find another way out, fighting demons, darkspawn, newly found propane. Though it wasn't until the final battle they would need to engage in came that they truly met a challenge.

"I need healing!"

"Blondie!"

"Anders, healing!"

"I'm trying!" Anders screamed, his mana already scrambling to pick itself up. He felt Justice creeping in, "No. Not now." He spoke to himself, lyrium potion spilling from his mouth as he swallowed it quickly, healing everyone but Fenris, whom didn't seem like he needed it. 

Soon enough they killed the… giant… Propane? No one really cared for the name, just that they lived.

They found heaps of treasure after this, but it wasn't even near the amount they could carry, it was far too much. They split a bit between themselves and then left the rest there so they could come back to it once they deal with the current situation.

Walking quietly, Anders couldn't help but approach Fenris.

“Are you hurt?”

“No, mage.”

“Are you sure? That battle had even me tired. You were within-” “I’m _fine_.”

Anders sighed, “Is this because I’d be healing you with magic?! I can use bandages, you know. Stop being such a stubborn dick! We have to cooperate!”

“I do not see the need to be healed. I have withstood far more pain than you could imagine.”

“I can, actually. You’re not the only one that’s suffered.”

“You would never understand. You have not seen slavery.”

Anders’ mouth was almost sewed shut. He only took a deep breath, leaving Fenris to deal with his own wounds by brooding.

If only the elf knew, that Anders had at least seen a little of what it was like for him. 

But… now, he would never tell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one is a bit short :(
> 
> hawke asking them to cooperate is me


	8. Chapter 8

The journey out of the Deep Roads was nowhere near easy.

They killed darkspawn upon darkspawn, even had to make a detour to intersect with wardens after Bethany was infected by the Blight. She was only able to be saved due to the fact that Anders was there, and able to sense his former comrades.

They soon emerged, weeks later.

It was a journey to the top for Hawke, already making their family name known to all of Kirkwall in only a year, now residing in a mansion with her mother, her mabari. Bethany stayed with the wardens, but the fate was much better than death, at least in Anders’ opinion.

As for him, he had only truly had his journey go south fast. 

Mages upon mages began to appear as tranquil in the Gallows, to the point where Anders knew something was off; that something was very, very wrong. His focus never faltered from his goal, the freedom of mages. His sleepless nights spent writing pages of his Mage Rights manifesto, his workless days filled with yet more work with the Mage Underground. The rest of the time, he had a clinic to run.

He had to make time to help Hawke whenever she needed her best healer, as well.

His physical exhaustion had reached a point where he had only not fainted yet due to the fact that he was supported by Justice. 

And even then, his mind remained permanently clouded by the mere presence of that elf.

An elf that currently stood in front of him.

“Mage.”

They both stood in front of eachother, Anders holding the rackety wooden door to his clinic open for the elf. “What?”

“Hawke sent me to get you. She wants us to accompany her in her mission to save the Viscount’s son.”

Anders ran a hand through his permanently exhausted face, taking a deep breath. “I was supposed to rest today. Can’t Hawke take Merrill?”

“The witch was busy.”

“With her blood magic mirror?”

“I suppose.”

Anders sighed, moving to grab his staff and a few lyrium potions. “Let's get moving, then.” Fenris nodded hesitantly, the tension between them more than obvious even to just them.

They walked together, the deadly silence they held feeling like it could suffocate them both. Anders had to break it before he began going insane. “So, I heard you and Hawke are getting quite close.”

“What’s it to you?”

Anders groaned, “It was literally just a simple conversation starter.” He looked to Fenris, whom shrugged.” There is no need for it, and it was a bad one.”

Anders sighed, focusing on the path ahead of him. It was a long walk until the gates to Kirkwall. “So, is she your first friend or something?”

“Yes. Why is this important to you, mage? Does it bother you that I get along with Hawke?”

“No. I’m just curious, Fenris. You’ve… never had another? Even when you were a slave?”

“I have no memories from before I was given these lyrium brands. Even then, I can assure you I have never had any friends.”

Anders eyes widened instantly. Everything fell into place.

This _is_ Leto.

But he now knows just _why_ he doesn't remember him.

He now knows will _never_ remember him.

Anders looked down to his feet as he walked, shaking his head. His young self would be screaming to the heavens right now. But he, he was simply grieving the loss of what he once thought to be a friend.

“What?”

“Nothing. Forget I asked.”

“Suit yourself.”

Once on the road with Hawke, the tension between the mage and the elf lightened a bit. It was still there, but at least the relaxing presence of Isabela, Varric, and, of course, Hawke, helped them both keep their focus on something else.

Even then, Justice was booming inside Anders’ head. Or so Anders thought, these thoughts he was getting were so like his old spirit friend that he could almost hear Justice’s voice saying them.

_‘This elf has been distracting us from our mission for over a year now. We must not let him make us drift away from what is truly important.’_

_‘But what can I do to ensure that? I can’t kill him, he’s friends with Hawke. Even then, I know how he must be feeling right now, free but not truly free, guarding his every corner. He may be irritating and a bigot, but I can't simply kill him.’_

_‘Yes, we can.’_

_‘No. We are not killing him. I made a promise to him years upon years ago, that I would never bring him pain. It would be unjust to break it and you know it. If you can hear me, just help me focus, Justice. Try harder.’_

With that, his counter-thoughts stopped, and he sighed. Hopefully the spirit had gotten the message, and he could finally find the slightest bit of mental peace.

"Blondie? You alright? You're looking extra stuck in your thoughts right now." Varric put a hand on Anders' arm, nudging him out of his thoughts before he pulled it away. "What's up?"

"...It's nothing, Varric. Just mage things. Don't worry about it." Anders offered him a half-smile, Varric returning it. "Alright. If it has anything to do with mages I definitely won't get it."

Anders barked a laugh, "What's important is that you try."

"You got that right."

Saving the son of the Viscount went swifter than expected, but they were me with heaps of mercenaries. The enemy was far weaker than just them, but the amounts made up for that. Varric was quickly cornered, Hawke hit on the shoulders with arrows, Isabela stabbed, Fenris sent rolling through the ground. Anders was everywhere, running from side to side to avoid their hits and heal the others. he soon found himself cornered as well. Justice rumbled in his head, Anders casting spells and fighting his own mental battle. “No, Justice, not now. The Viscount’s son will see.” He mumbled under his breath to himself, spilling a lyrium potion over his mouth. 

Soon he realized he was the only one left standing besides Fenris, whom was cornered by at least 10 of them.

Fenris swung his greatsword with signs of exhaustion, but no sign of stopping. It was noticeable this man is a trained warrior.  
“Mage! Behind you!” He yelled before he was taken back into battle by a sword he evaded.

Anders turned, his eyes widening as he had to scramble and move before an arrow struck right through him. He was able to dodge, but he tripped, falling to his knees. He tried to get up, but the exhaustion got to him. He crawled as best he could, using his last bit of mana to heal the others in one go, pulling strength from his own spirits and others from the Fade. Spirit Healing truly came in handy.

His back hit the dirt as his body barely wished to move a finger, and he looked up to see the mercenaries that followed him. He let out a scream when one lifted up her sword, ready to swing. He tried to find the strength to move, still keeping Justice down, but he couldn't. He was ready to accept his fate, but something prevented it.

A greatsword met the smaller sword halfway, then pushing it and its holder away from Anders. Fenris grunted, swinging in unison at the female. He was able to cut them down quickly then pulling Anders up roughly.

He may be saving the mage, but not nicely. That was too much to ask of him.

Anders threw an arm over Fenris' feathered shoulders, gripping as Fenris pulled him away from the main battle. The elf then ran off to finish fighting without another word.

Anders sighed, his eyes following the male's bare feet, his toned figure, his white hair. All the could picture was the smaller elf running in front of him, but it faded quickly as his thoughts muddled from exhaustion.

"Anders! Anders, wake up, damnit! You're the healer, you can't just die! That's now how it works!" 

Anders' eyes opened slowly, only to find Hawke's worried face in front of him. "Thank the Maker! You scared me there, you idiot!" She yelled at him, Anders blinking sleepily a few times before he regained full consciousness. He bolted up, "What happened?!"

"You fainted. From exhaustion, I presume. You should have denied the expedition the moment I went to pick you up. You're too tired for battle."

Anders looked to Fenris, who stood seriously. He sighed, "I'm fine. I'll be fine." He then stood up, losing balance for a moment but quickly regaining it. "Let's get going."

"Right. Saemus! Let's go!" Hawke yelled at the male nearby. "Fenris, help Anders. You're the strongest." 

Fenris sighed, "Alright." He walked over to Anders, his gauntleted arm wrapping around Anders' waist. 

"I don't need help!" Anders protested.

"Just do it and quit complaining!" Isabela groaned, Varric and Hawke agreeing. 

Anders sighed in defeat, letting his arm rest on Fenris' shoulders again. They walked behind the group since Anders wasn't strong enough to be as quick as the rest.

"Thank you, mage."

"I- uh, what?" Anders looked to Fenris, his brow raised in confusion. 

"You healed us instead of protecting yourself. I believe you should be thanked for it."

"Weren't you all about mages being evil? What? Changed your mind?" Anders rolled his eyes. "I can't believe you do this and then go on about how we should be imprisoned. You're so hypocritical."

"I am not stupid, mage." Fenris spat, "I know magic has its uses, I know not all of it is evil. But a great part of it is. Not everyone out there wishes to use it for healing, for good. That is what you do not see."

"There are assholes out there that kill with or without magic! You can't expect everyone to be like the Tevinter Imperium!" 

"I can't believe you turned a simple 'thank you' as an insult. Just stop talking and pretend I didn't say anything. You will not change my mind." 

Anders shook his head, then looking down to his feet as they moved. "...Well, thank you too."

"Pardon?"

"You saved me as well, so thank you too."

"You're welcome."

"So are you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tad short. again, sorry!!


	9. Chapter 9

"You called, Anders?" Hawke walked into the clinic, Anders looking up from his patient to smile at her. She had come with her usual team, Fenris, Varric and Isabela. "Yes, just one moment." 

He then continued to heal the patient, a child with a broken leg. He had fallen down stairs on his way to his mother. He soon finished, "There you go. All healed." He beamed at the child, whom giggled.

"Thank you, mister healer!" The child jumped off the cot and hugged Anders' leg for a second, before his mother thanked Anders as well, and they were off. They were the last of the patients, so Anders walked outside and shut off the lamp before meeting Hawke inside once more.

"Now that they're gone," He spoke, his fake smile falling to his usual serious face. "I have a mission I'd like your help with, Hawke. It's a mage matter." He began, seeing Fenris' scowl get even worse. He rolled his eyes before ignoring it.

"Haven't you noticed the amount of tranquil mages appearing in the Gallows almost every day? Some of them are mages I know passed their Harrowing. It makes no sense, it's actually against Chantry law!" He paced around the empty clinic as he spoke, feeling Justice awaken as his anger rose. He controlled himself, taking a deep breath before he continued.

"I've been informed of a templar known as Alrik. A sadistic shit of a man, likes to make mages beg. I suspect he's misusing the rite of tranquility, in fact I heard he could be planning to turn all of the Gallows' mages tranquil! I need your help to make sure he doesn't get what he wants."

His voice turned to a more hushed one, looking around just in case someone had wandered into the clinic. It tended to happen. "Look, there's a secret entry to the Gallows through the sewers. I know my way around it. All I need is your help to infiltrate the Gallows and find evidence against Alrik so I could at least get the Grand Cleric to help. Please."

Hawke eyed Anders for a bit, then smiling. "Absolutely."

"Ooh! Fun!" Isabela giggled, Varric shrugging. "One less bad guy in the world. Look at us, being heroic."

"This is absurd. All I see is one man trying to deal with something he has every reason to fear." Fenris crossed his arms, glaring at Anders.

Anders glared back at him, gritting his teeth. "You don't have to go." 

"I am already along for the mission. I must."

"Hmm, seems so. If we lose, I'll be taken by the templars. Guess that's something that could help soothe the sting." Anders spat, Fenris almost growling. "Oh, it would."

"Both of you, stop it. Lets get going."

Fenris hated everything about this mission. 

They walked through sewers, and even when his feet had been through worse, he still prefered to avoid having them come to contact with disgusting sewage or disgustingly filthy floors. Above that, he was on his way to help _mages._

Anders already made it hard enough for Fenris, now he was making him go along mage missions? Hawke too, but he couldn't blame her, she was simply helping out a 'friend', like she'd do for him.

They traversed the sewers, and a cave once they reached the way to the entrance to the Gallows. Everyone was quiet, Anders seeming extra focused this time.

"I-I'm sorry!"

The near yell of a female startled everyone, Anders walking in front of them as they reached the end of the cave.

Upon there, they all had a full view of the situation. 

Templars, one of them being the culprit they hoped to expose, Alrik. A female mage stood in front of him, nearly begging. "Please! I only wished to see my family. I'm sorry!"

"You were attempting to escape. And, what do we do to mage girls who try to escape?" Alrik spoke almost blankly, if Fenris didn't know better he would have thought the man was tranquil himself.

This display didn't even sit well in Fenris' stomach. 

One thing was to make the girl tranquil, but taunt her this way was merely unnecessary. Even then, he didn't completely disagree, so he kept quiet until Hawke gave order.

Anders was a whole different story.

_"No!"_

A lower voice boomed from Anders' mouth, his skin breaking into little cracks of blue glow, his eyes piercing through the warm light with their blue tint. "You will not take have her!" He yelled, taking out his staff. 

The crash of lightning began the battle.

Fenris felt uneasy, having this being fight alongside them. So, this was the Justice the others spoke of? And then the mage claimed to be a good person. One who wouldn't harm, wasn't dangerous.

What a lie.

Soon the templars were all down, including Ser Alrik.

"You can stop glowing now, Anders. They're dead." Hawke spoke after she saw Justice showed no signs of leaving.

"Stay away, demon! Don't hurt me!" The mage girl begged, backing up so much onto the rock wall behind her that you'd think her whole robe was scratched by it.

"Demon? I am no demon! Are you one of them, that you would call me such?" The voice boomed higher, turning into a rough yell. "You must be on their side!" 

"N-N-No! I'm not!"

"Anders! Don't!" Hawke yelled. 

A greatsword stopped the being's staff as it went to slam against the ground to cast a spell.

"Control yourself, demon!" Fenris yelled. He wasn't doing it for the mage, but more so to save them all from the abomination's outrage.

Justice paused for a moment, looking at him and moving to attack him instead. "I am no demon!" He yelled, though as others were going to move to help Fenris and the elf prepared his hand to save himself, Justice stopped. 

_'You idiot! No! We need to stop!'_

_'They called us a demon. We are no demon.'_

_'No! You're going to hurt them!'_

_'It does not matter.'_

_'You'll hurt Leto.'_

_'This is not Leto.'_

_'We promised we wouldn't inflict pain on him. It would be unjust. Let me regain control.'_

Anders lowered his staff, but no spell was cast. His eyes met Fenris', instantly feeling the guilt and anger at himself. "I-.."

"'I can control it.' Isn't that what you said?" Fenris spoke coldly, his greatsword being sheathed. 

Anders felt his heart drop to the floor, though his mouth curled into a scowl.

"Shut up." He spat, then looking to Hawke, who was also just as mad. "I-... I'll meet you back at the clinic." He then hurried out, leaving Hawke and the team behind.

Hawke sighed, "Thanks for that, Fenris." She looked to Fenris, whom nodded. 

"Y-Yes, thank you sir." The female mage spoke up, "Wh-What was that? I've never seen a demon like that."

"Anders isn't a demon. He's just a deeply troubled man." Hawke spoke up, sighing. "Please forgive him. He gets very worked up with templars."

"You give him far too much credit, Hawke." Fenris retorted, and Hawke raised her hand to stop him.

"Go, get out of here, hon. Stay safe." Hawke moved so the girl could exit through the cave.

"Let's get back to Anders. You could tell him how angry you are yourself, Fenris."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hopefully this isn’t too short!! thank you for reading!!


	10. Chapter 10

"Trash... keep… trash, definitely trash…." 

"Anders? What are you doing?" 

Anders flinched at the familiar female voice before he looked towards the source, seeing Hawke's confused face and frowning. "I'm deciding on what to throw away and what to keep in case I have to leave." His voice faded to a whisper.

"First of all, you don't have to leave." Hawke began, "I'm not letting you."

Anders let out a dry chuckle, "Right." 

"But I need you to explain what the actual fuck that was back there. You almost killed the girl!" 

"I know." Anders' voice still kept its half whispered tone. "I know what I did, Hawke. I'm sorry."

"Anders, you need to get yourself together. You can't just let Justice blow up every time."

"I know, Hawke. You don't have to keep going. I know I'm a dangerous abomination, I can't even hold myself back from hurting those I want to save…" Anders then got up, running a hand through his hair. 

"Listen, we found this on Ser Alrik's body. It's a letter you might find intriguing." Hawke took out a crumpled paper, handing it to Anders with a small smile. She hoped the small change in subject would make him feel better.

The mage took it, reading through it and feeling Justice awaken more and more as he read it. "No, calm down." He spoke to himself, taking a deep breath.

Once he finished reading, he shook his head. "I knew it. We must talk to Elthina about this. But- I can do that on my own. Later, when Justice has stopped being such a pain in the ass." 

Isabela and Hawke's giggles were more relaxing than Anders would like to admit. "Thank you, Hawke."

"Thank Fenris. He was the one who stopped you."

"Don't thank me, abomination. I did it for no noble cause." Fenris raised a hand in dismissal, Anders sighing. "Of course. You'd take the first chance to kill me for yourself."

"I would." Fenris nodded shamelessly. "You claim we are alike, yet you do not see me attempting to kill slaves."

"I didn't mean it in that aspect, Fenris!" Anders began yelling, Hawke, Isabela and Varric backing away. "Blondie, Broody, there's people around. Won't make you two look so good if you fight." Varric tried to calm them down.

He was ignored, of course.

"Then how? How are we so alike, mage?! What makes you think we have anything in common?!" Fenris yelled as well, both stomping towards each other, their glares almost deadly.

"Freedom." Anders spoke, " _We should be free. We should all be free. Freedom is all I want._ And I know it's all you want too." His voice faded to a whisper, his anger almost leaving at the memories of their old conversations on the topic.

Something about Anders' words… it made a part of Fenris' brain tick. The elf's eyes widened, and he froze visibly as he traversed a memory on his own.

_His own voice, but a bit higher. "The Magisters use blood magic constantly in Tevinter. Master enjoys it as well. I thought all mages would utilize it."_

_A higher-pitched voice, one that was almost identical to Anders'. "What? No! I would never do blood magic. It's foolish."_

_A chuckle._

_"Maybe one day the Magisters will figure that out too. Realize that mages can do good, and help others realize the same thing. We should be free, we should all be free. Freedom is all I want."_

_"Wouldn't you agree?"_

Fenris backed away once he regained control of his stiff body. The memory was muddled, foggy, barely recognizable. The being he spoke to wasn't clear, but it sounded like Anders, and that freaked him out more than he'd care to admit.

"I…" He closed his mouth upon realizing his sentence was going nowhere. He shook his head, "I must leave." He then walked out quickly, not looking back until he reached his mansion.

Anders stood dumbfounded, looking to Hawke with furrowed brows. "What the hell was that?"

"No idea. Maybe your dumbass outburst made him remember something. He does that sometimes." Hawke shrugged. "I'll see you later, Anders. Take the time to calm down." She pat Anders' shoulder, then walking out with Varric and Isabela.

Anders took a deep breath, thoughts of Fenris' situation still in his mind as he returned to work.

Fenris knew he probably just broke every single box he had near his foyer. 

That memory… it repeated in his mind like a play. He couldn't tell who the person he spoke to was, all he knew is that it had to be a mage, and he sounded like Anders.

But he had no idea if it was actually Anders.

He tried not to jump to conclusions, but he was all alone in his home, and with nothing else to do, his mind kept trailing back to that conversation. "We should be free, we should all be free." He repeated in a low mumble. "All I want is freedom." His voice faded to the slightest whisper, and he punched the nearest wall in stress.

He simply stood there for a moment, "Wouldn't you agree?" He whispered with the slightest of voice, more air than sounds coming out of his mouth. 

He then took a deep breath, relaxing the best he could.

"Fenris? You alright?"

The elf flinched, moving to grip his sword before he realized it was just a lonely Hawke. "I worried. What happened?"

"I, well." Fenris cleared his throat awkwardly, looking anywhere but Hawke's eyes. "I remembered something."

"What did you remember? You can tell me, y'know." Hawke offered a smile, Fenris sighing. "Its complicated, Marian."

"Ooh, first name. It really is important." Hawke giggled, and Fenris offered a smile. 

"Does it have to do with Anders? Danarius?"

"None of the above, actually. I remember the voice, the conversation. But I don't remember who it is." Fenris shook his head to himself. "I can't remember who it is at all."

"Hmm. Whats the conversation about?"

"Freedom."

Hawke chuckled, "Sounds about right, from you." She then sighed a bit, "Look Fenris, I can't really help there. But, you know I'm here to listen."

"I know, Hawke. Thank you."


	11. Chapter 11

"There he is! Danarius' pet!"

The team turned to look up the little cliff near the main path, seeing a group of men. Fenris recognized the profession of these men instantly.

_Slavers._

They had been on their way to find Javaris for the Arishok, but it seemed to be interrupted by the ambush they had found themselves in.

"Slave! It's time to return you to your master!" One of the men yelled.

"Fenris is a-" "free elf!" 

Both Fenris and Hawke looked to Anders in surprise as the mage finished Hawke's sentence. "I told you I meant what I said."

"I didn't expect you to keep your word so solidly." 

"I can be nice too, you know."

"Guys! As happy as I am to see you both so happy for once, we have slavers to kill!" Isabela shook them both as Varric spoke.

Fenris' markings glew instantly as he pulled out his greatsword, the others getting ready themselves as the slavers ran towards them.

The fight was quick. Fenris wondered how Danarius could think such puny men would bring him back his _'pet'_. It was pitiful, at best.

One man left alive, Fenris stopped his gauntleted hand once it traversed the man's chest and held onto his heart. "Where is he?" He growled, glaring daggers into the man's skin.

"I-I don't know, I swear! She sent us- the woman in the slaver caves! They're nearby- she should still be there! Please, let me live!" The man cried, begging helplessly.

"And let you continue to take in slaves? It would be a foolish move." He spoke before he ripped his hand out of the man's chest, heart in hand. The body fell limp to the ground, Fenris dropping the beatless heart over it.

"Hadriana." His voice was full of hate, rage, even. "It must be her. Danarius' little apprentice."

Hawke walked up to Fenris, nudging him with a grin. "How about we leave Javaris for another day and go slaver hunting?" She asked, looking to the others. "Who's in?"

Varric raised a hand, Isabela smirking and nodding. 

Anders nodded as well, though he was more deep in thought than the others.

He had seen this woman.

She had yanked Leto away from him in Val Royeaux.

He already despised her, and Justice, a believer of injustices being fixed, agreed.

So, there was no way he'd refuse this.

Fenris turned to see them all agreeing, and the rarest half-smile filled his face. "Let us go, then."

The slaver caves were actually very nearby. It was only quite the few hours of walking. They arrived when the sun was going down, so they walked inside in the cover of the growing darkness. It wasn't dark enough to where they couldn't see, but Fenris still lit up his markings occasionally to be sure there weren't any rogues hidden in the cover of the dim lighting.

They fought slaver upon slaver, but there was no sign of Hadrianna yet.

A cot rested within one of the rooms, bloodied and covered by the limp body of an elf. Fenris's already tense fists got worse, to the point where his gauntleted fingers would cut through his skin if he got any stronger. "Blood magic." He spat, and he couldn't help but look to Anders. "See what happens when mages are allowed to roam free? Govern themselves?" 

Anders raised an eyebrow, the little peace they were beginning to share fading in an immediate instant. "They can't all do that." 

"You'd be surprised."

"Fenris, I never claimed that all mages are good! But those who are good shouldn't suffer because of the few bad ones."

Fenris shook his head, hurrying out of the room and being followed by the rest.

They encountered a slave, one of the name Orana. Hawke offered to let her reside in her estate after seeing her helplessness. 

"I didn't know you were in the market for a slave." Fenris retorted towards Hawke, whom rolled her eyes. "I'm offering her a job, Fenris."

"...Oh." Fenris looked away, "How noble of you."

Once Orana was sent off safely to Kirkwall, they continued their trail towards Hadriana.

The slavers had planted traps, and even when Isabela warns them once she spots one and runs to disarm it, Fenris eventually stepped over one of them, triggering the alarming burst of fire it emitted.

If there was one time Anders heard Fenris scream, it was now.

Hawke was almost caught in the fire, but she was able to dodge, though not fast enough to pull Fenris with her.

Isabela hurried to disarm the others, while Varric's height helped him pull Fenris out of the area it affected before it burned him alive.

Anders was by Fenris' side instantly. Watching the elf be burnt like this, it brought up his younger self, the one who cared too much, the one who knew Leto.

"Andraste's knickerweasels, you idiot!" He yelled, his hand touching the elf's face only to send a wave of cold over his body, attempting to even his temperature before he healed the burns.

"Mage- no magi-"

"No magic, my ass! I do this to you all the time, now is not a good time to complain, elf!" He felt a bit proud of himself when Fenris simply grunted, not giving him any retort.

Soon enough, Fenris was stable again, and Hawke helped him get up. "You're thinking, aren't you, Fenris? You need to focus. This could be your one chance to figure out where Danarius is." She assured him, Fenris nodding. She was right.

They all walked, and finally, their target was in sight.

Fenris recognized her immediately. His anger heightened by the second. 

_"Hadriana."_

The roughness, hate and anger in that simple word, it had everyone else on edge instantly.

Anders recognized the female too, she simply looked older, but nothing much had changed. Not even her attitude, it seemed.

"Look who it is." Hadriana smiled coldly. "Danarius' pet. It's about time you showed up. He'll be very happy when he sees me return with you." The female giggled, though her eyebrows furrowed when she spotted Anders. 

"You… You seem familiar."

"Many say that." Anders spat, and before she could speak, Fenris got tired of the talking, charging at her with his greatsword ready to swing.

That action begun the battle, one that was very packed. Everyone left Hadriana to Fenris, though Anders fought a little bit of everything, as well as healing.

It ended quickly than they had expected. The slavers were weak, and, against Fenris, so was Hadriana.

Though, she was still alive when the others turned to the two. Fenris gripped the female's hair, glaring at her with those piercing green eyes that could make you feel like they suck the life straight out of you.

"W-Wait! Don't kill me, please! L-Look, if you promise to let me go, I have information. I'll trade it for my life!" She yelled frantically. "You have a sister. I'll tell you about her."

"...What?" Fenris asked with curiosity, Hawke and the team closeby to attack if Hadriana tried something. "Y-Yes! I will tell you of her if you let me leave."

"What possible information could you offer me? Danarius' location? I have no use for that. I'd rather he lost his pet pupil."

"Let her talk, Fenris." Hawke nudged the elf, whom glared at her, but stopped when he saw her face. It was as if they spoke without words.

"Talk." 

"Her name is Varania. She's in Minrathous serving a magister by the name of Erimond." Hadriana spoke, Fenris raising an eyebrow. "She's not a slave? Hmm." He thought for a bit, before he looked at Hadriana quietly, passing his arm in and out of her chest in moments. 

Once her body was dropped to the floor, Fenris turned. "We are done here." He spat.

"Fenris, do you want to talk abou-"

"Of course I don't want to talk about it! For all we know she could have been sent to set a trap for Danarius. I may have found my sister, but finding her would be a suicide mission! Even if I found her, who knows what the magisters have done to her. What does magic touch that it doesn't spoil?" His voice heightened to yells, which caused Hawke to back away. 

"I hope she rots along with every other mage." Fenris spoke one last time, Anders reacting this time. "And here I thought you were unreasonable." He spat, Fenris flinching.

"Don't bait me now, mage, for I will rip your heart out of your chest like I did to that bitch." Fenris growled.

Hawke looked to Anders, which made the mage stop talking entirely.

"I'll meet you back in Kirkwall." Fenris spoke before he was walking out of the place.

Anders groaned in anger. "That damned elf. I can't believe he blames every single mage for the actions of some! I just wish… he'd see it through my eyes." Anders shook his head, "But the blasted idiot won't even remember me, how will he realize the truth to what I'm saying?" He talked to himself, though too loud for everyone to ignore.

"What do you mean, remember you?" Hawke asked.

"Blondie, you know Broody?"

"Oh! Did you hate fuck years ago?!"

_"Isabela!" "Rivaini!"_ Hawke and Varric spoke to Isabela in unison, making her roll her eyes. 

"Oh, whatever."

"It was brief. He didn't go by the same name… so I don't know if it is truly him or another of Danarius' slaves. But then again, the similarities are so many…" 

Anders looked down to the floor, sighing. "It's not like it matters anymore. He won't ever remember me. You guys know that better than I do." His voice faded to a whisper. 

_"Leto."_


	12. Chapter 12

"There he is! Danarius' pet!"

The team turned to look up the little cliff near the main path, seeing a group of men. Fenris recognized the profession of these men instantly.

_Slavers._

They had been on their way to find Javaris for the Arishok, but it seemed to be interrupted by the ambush they had found themselves in.

"Slave! It's time to return you to your master!" One of the men yelled.

"Fenris is a-" "free elf!" 

Both Fenris and Hawke looked to Anders in surprise as the mage finished Hawke's sentence. "I told you I meant what I said."

"I didn't expect you to keep your word so solidly." 

"I can be nice too, you know."

"Guys! As happy as I am to see you both so happy for once, we have slavers to kill!" Isabela shook them both as Varric spoke.

Fenris' markings glew instantly as he pulled out his greatsword, the others getting ready themselves as the slavers ran towards them.

The fight was quick. Fenris wondered how Danarius could think such puny men would bring him back his _'pet'_. It was pitiful, at best.

One man left alive, Fenris stopped his gauntleted hand once it traversed the man's chest and held onto his heart. "Where is he?" He growled, glaring daggers into the man's skin.

"I-I don't know, I swear! She sent us- the woman in the slaver caves! They're nearby- she should still be there! Please, let me live!" The man cried, begging helplessly.

"And let you continue to take in slaves? It would be a foolish move." He spoke before he ripped his hand out of the man's chest, heart in hand. The body fell limp to the ground, Fenris dropping the beatless heart over it.

"Hadriana." His voice was full of hate, rage, even. "It must be her. Danarius' little apprentice."

Hawke walked up to Fenris, nudging him with a grin. "How about we leave Javaris for another day and go slaver hunting?" She asked, looking to the others. "Who's in?"

Varric raised a hand, Isabela smirking and nodding. 

Anders nodded as well, though he was more deep in thought than the others.

He had seen this woman.

She had yanked Leto away from him in Val Royeaux.

He already despised her, and Justice, a believer of injustices being fixed, agreed.

So, there was no way he'd refuse this.

Fenris turned to see them all agreeing, and the rarest half-smile filled his face. "Let us go, then."

The slaver caves were actually very nearby. It was only quite the few hours of walking. They arrived when the sun was going down, so they walked inside in the cover of the growing darkness. It wasn't dark enough to where they couldn't see, but Fenris still lit up his markings occasionally to be sure there weren't any rogues hidden in the cover of the dim lighting.

They fought slaver upon slaver, but there was no sign of Hadrianna yet.

A cot rested within one of the rooms, bloodied and covered by the limp body of an elf. Fenris's already tense fists got worse, to the point where his gauntleted fingers would cut through his skin if he got any stronger. "Blood magic." He spat, and he couldn't help but look to Anders. "See what happens when mages are allowed to roam free? Govern themselves?" 

Anders raised an eyebrow, the little peace they were beginning to share fading in an immediate instant. "They can't all do that." 

"You'd be surprised."

"Fenris, I never claimed that all mages are good! But those who are good shouldn't suffer because of the few bad ones."

Fenris shook his head, hurrying out of the room and being followed by the rest.

They encountered a slave, one of the name Orana. Hawke offered to let her reside in her estate after seeing her helplessness. 

"I didn't know you were in the market for a slave." Fenris retorted towards Hawke, whom rolled her eyes. "I'm offering her a job, Fenris."

"...Oh." Fenris looked away, "How noble of you."

Once Orana was sent off safely to Kirkwall, they continued their trail towards Hadriana.

The slavers had planted traps, and even when Isabela warns them once she spots one and runs to disarm it, Fenris eventually stepped over one of them, triggering the alarming burst of fire it emitted.

If there was one time Anders heard Fenris scream, it was now.

Hawke was almost caught in the fire, but she was able to dodge, though not fast enough to pull Fenris with her.

Isabela hurried to disarm the others, while Varric's height helped him pull Fenris out of the area it affected before it burned him alive.

Anders was by Fenris' side instantly. Watching the elf be burnt like this, it brought up his younger self, the one who cared too much, the one who knew Leto.

"Andraste's knickerweasels, you idiot!" He yelled, his hand touching the elf's face only to send a wave of cold over his body, attempting to even his temperature before he healed the burns.

"Mage- no magi-"

"No magic, my ass! I do this to you all the time, now is not a good time to complain, elf!" He felt a bit proud of himself when Fenris simply grunted, not giving him any retort.

Soon enough, Fenris was stable again, and Hawke helped him get up. "You're thinking, aren't you, Fenris? You need to focus. This could be your one chance to figure out where Danarius is." She assured him, Fenris nodding. She was right.

They all walked, and finally, their target was in sight.

Fenris recognized her immediately. His anger heightened by the second. 

_"Hadriana."_

The roughness, hate and anger in that simple word, it had everyone else on edge instantly.

Anders recognized the female too, she simply looked older, but nothing much had changed. Not even her attitude, it seemed.

"Look who it is." Hadriana smiled coldly. "Danarius' pet. It's about time you showed up. He'll be very happy when he sees me return with you." The female giggled, though her eyebrows furrowed when she spotted Anders. 

"You… You seem familiar."

"Many say that." Anders spat, and before she could speak, Fenris got tired of the talking, charging at her with his greatsword ready to swing.

That action begun the battle, one that was very packed. Everyone left Hadriana to Fenris, though Anders fought a little bit of everything, as well as healing.

It ended quickly than they had expected. The slavers were weak, and, against Fenris, so was Hadriana.

Though, she was still alive when the others turned to the two. Fenris gripped the female's hair, glaring at her with those piercing green eyes that could make you feel like they suck the life straight out of you.

"W-Wait! Don't kill me, please! L-Look, if you promise to let me go, I have information. I'll trade it for my life!" She yelled frantically. "You have a sister. I'll tell you about her."

"...What?" Fenris asked with curiosity, Hawke and the team closeby to attack if Hadriana tried something. "Y-Yes! I will tell you of her if you let me leave."

"What possible information could you offer me? Danarius' location? I have no use for that. I'd rather he lost his pet pupil."

"Let her talk, Fenris." Hawke nudged the elf, whom glared at her, but stopped when he saw her face. It was as if they spoke without words.

"Talk." 

"Her name is Varania. She's in Minrathous serving a magister by the name of Erimond." Hadriana spoke, Fenris raising an eyebrow. "She's not a slave? Hmm." He thought for a bit, before he looked at Hadriana quietly, passing his arm in and out of her chest in moments. 

Once her body was dropped to the floor, Fenris turned. "We are done here." He spat.

"Fenris, do you want to talk abou-"

"Of course I don't want to talk about it! For all we know she could have been sent to set a trap for Danarius. I may have found my sister, but finding her would be a suicide mission! Even if I found her, who knows what the magisters have done to her. What does magic touch that it doesn't spoil?" His voice heightened to yells, which caused Hawke to back away. 

"I hope she rots along with every other mage." Fenris spoke one last time, Anders reacting this time. "And here I thought you were unreasonable." He spat, Fenris flinching.

"Don't bait me now, mage, for I will rip your heart out of your chest like I did to that bitch." Fenris growled.

Hawke looked to Anders, which made the mage stop talking entirely.

"I'll meet you back in Kirkwall." Fenris spoke before he was walking out of the place.

Anders groaned in anger. "That damned elf. I can't believe he blames every single mage for the actions of some! I just wish… he'd see it through my eyes." Anders shook his head, "But the blasted idiot won't even remember me, how will he realize the truth to what I'm saying?" He talked to himself, though too loud for everyone to ignore.

"What do you mean, remember you?" Hawke asked.

"Blondie, you know Broody?"

"Oh! Did you hate fuck years ago?!"

 _"Isabela!" "Rivaini!"_ Hawke and Varric spoke to Isabela in unison, making her roll her eyes. 

"Oh, whatever."

"It was brief. He didn't go by the same name… so I don't know if it is truly him or another of Danarius' slaves. But then again, the similarities are so many…" 

Anders looked down to the floor, sighing. "It's not like it matters anymore. He won't ever remember me. You guys know that better than I do." His voice faded to a whisper. 

_"Leto."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;))) hell yeah anders


	13. Chapter 13

Hawke fixed her armor a bit as she was going to head out. She walked to open her estate door, but she spotted a familiar elf, causing her to halt.

"Fenris?"

"Hawke."

Fenris stood up from the bench he sat on, "Your dwarf friend let me in. I had hoped to speak with you… though if it is a bad time I can wait. You seem on your way to something important."

"I was going to look for Javaris, like I have been meaning to. I told Merrill, Sebastian and Aveline to come with me instead, since I thought you guys would be tired. But they can wait." Hawke smiled, "What's wrong?"

"I… I wish to apologize for my actions after I killed Hadriana. I was overwhelmed and took it out on you, undeservingly so." Fenris looked everywhere but at Hawke, clearing his throat nervously. "I-... nevermind. This is absurd." 

"No, it isn't." Hawke smiled, "I forgive you, Fenris. You didn't even have to apologize." 

"I-... I did not?"

"No, I understand, and understood then, too." Hawke pat Fenris' shoulder, "Will you be searching for your sister?"

"I do not think it would be necessary. Perhaps it's best we stay as we are."

"Alright, I respect your decision." Hawke nodded. "But, you should apologize to Anders."

"What? I have no need to apologize to that abomination." Fenris' calm mood quickly left as he spat. 

"You did threaten him. After he healed you and, surprisingly, defended you." Hawke sighed, "I know you hate him, but I told you once, and I'll say it again, you don't want to piss off our only healer."

Fenris took a deep breath, thinking it through for a bit. Hawke was right, even if just a little.

"I shall go to his clinic now, then." He sighed, Hawke grinning. "That's my elf!" She teased him, making Fenris chuckle in the slightest.

"Ugh, listen, if you're here to tell me how much you believe mages should die, get the fuck away from my clinic." 

Fenris didn't get as warm a welcome with Anders as he did by Hawke.

"Seriously, Fenris, stop getting closer. I don't want to hear it. I have patients."

"I am not here to remind you of my view of mages."

"If Hawke wants me to go, I'm not going. I have too many patients."

"Mage, simply heal while I talk."

Anders clenched his jaw, then sighing in defeat and looking down to the patient he worked on. It wasn't a magic heal, so he focused on wrapping bandages and sewing up cuts. This man had gotten jumped by thieves. So he had many minor wounds, and little want to be treated by magic.

Anders respected that, but it didn't mean he wasn't annoyed by it.

"I have come to apologize. After I spoke to Hawke, I came to the realization that I took out my anger on you. For the first time, you didn't actually deserve it. You had defended and healed me without asking for anything in return. It was unfair of me."

Speaking to Anders about this was way harder than it was to Hawke. He didn't need to expect to be ridiculed by Hawke, he wasn't watched by patients either. Here, he felt exposed, open, raw. It wasn't something he enjoyed at all.

Not in front of this mage.

Anders didn't stop working on his patient, but when Fenris dared to look at him, the mage smiled. 

"Apology accepted." Anders' smile grew more and more. "You're growing soft on me, Fenris. Need me to remind you about the suffering of mages?" 

"Ugh." Fenris rolled his eyes, Anders snorting as he focused on the patient. "Damn, and there I thought we were getting somewhere."

Fenris couldn't help but smile, even if he held it back the best he could. "You are impossible to understand, mage."

"Some say that." Anders chuckled.

"Another thing." The elf's face straightened to its serious expression, Anders raising an eyebrow in expectation.

"Hadriana said she recognized you." Fenris began, shifting his weight on one leg. "Is this true?"

"She could have confused me easily, you know." Anders shrugged. "Like I did you."

Fenris raised an eyebrow, scanning Anders for any sign of lying. The mage simply sat straight, his hands only moving to work on his current patient. His hair pulled back into a loose ponytail, his eyes dark with exhaustion. He looked terrible, yes, but not like he was lying.

"I see. I suppose you have a point." Fenris nodded. "I shall leave you be then. Good luck with your patient."

"Thank you. I hope it does help, since I've lost a few today." Anders sighed, "These damned thieves…"

Fenris raised an eyebrow, "Which thieves?"

"They've been hauled up near the entrance to the sewers. They jump every innocent they see and every time the poor sods end up by my doorstep. I need to get Hawke to help me deal with it." Anders spoke quietly, finishing by wrapping bandages around the man's many wounds. 

"I shall take care of it." Fenris nodded. 

"You will? I could help-"

Fenris raised a hand to stop Anders from speaking, "You are needed here, mage. Besides, you look unbelievably great when you heal without magic. I'll consider the sight my payment."

Anders couldn't help but laugh, "Get out of my clinic." He warned, though with no ill intention, chuckling as he spoke.

Fenris offered him a half-smile, something about this lightness feeling familiar. But even then, he ignored it and simply left to deal with the bandits.

And deal with them, he did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one is very short, but they’re beginning to get along!! baby steps


	14. Chapter 14

"Fenris! You're late!"

Hawke shouted at the elf as she sat around the table Varric always sets up for their Wicked Grace nights. She was surrounded by the rest of her merry band of misfits, and Fenris was just arriving to complete it. 

"Sorry, Hawke. I was training and lost track of time." Fenris sat down next to Isabela, as it was the only seat left.

"Alright, now that Broody's here, we can start. Deal us in, Blondie. You're the only one I'd trust not to cheat besides myself." Varric spoke and the rest of the team laughed, if not act offended. 

"We need drinks here!" Isabela shouted, "Put it on my tab!" Varric accompanied.

Anders dealt the cards easily, and their game begun. It was lighthearted as always, a time to put aside their differences and have fun.

"So, guys. I heard Aveline has a little crush on Guardsman Donnic. I've been thinking we should all lend our friend a hand and get them hooked up." Hawke spoke before she took a swig at her drink.

"Maker, yes! Maybe then she'll realize she's actually a woman." Isabela teased, Aveline rolling her eyes. "Shut up, whore." "That's my girl." Isabela giggled.

"I don't need help, Hawke."

"Oh, but you do." Hawke giggled.

"I don't think I'd be much help. I'm not experienced in romance or courtship. For me it's a bit more… to the point." Anders chuckled nervously.

"Same for me," Isabela shrugged.

"And me." Fenris nodded, though for him, everyone froze.

"You have sex?" Hawke asked in disbelief. 

"Not recently, no. But if I were to, it would be to the point. I do not have any memories of courtship or romance."

"Maker, did you just _brood_ all over our Wicked Grace table?!" Varric joked, and the rest laughed.

"It has become a habit." Fenris smirked at the barked laughter his comment generated from Varric.

"And here I thought you had ignored my obvious flirting because you weren't interested." Isabela pouted. "Maybe I should have been more straight to the point."

"Perhaps." Fenris' smirk didn't leave, Isabela's grin getting bigger. "Ohh, you'd better not be busy after we finish this."

"Maker, stop it! Not on the table!" Hawke scolded in joke.

"You're welcome to join!" Isabela teased, giggling.

"I'll pass. Fenris is too exotic for me." Hawke joked, Fenris rolling his eyes in faked annoyance.

"Alright! So! I lost!" Anders looked to his cards as he exaggerated his words to cut through whatever the hell was happening between Fenris, Hawke and Isabela. 

"Blondie, voice of the poor and wounded, back at it again to save the day." Varric joked, making Anders laugh and the others nod as they laughed as well.

"Again? I'd say this is about the only time he's ever come to the rescue." Fenris spoke seriously, though his voice held no anger.

"Excuse you! I heal all of you all the time!" Anders faked offense, though he did instantly defend himself.

"Potions are made just for that."

"You-- You asshole! I'm never healing you again." Anders huffed, crossing his arms before he slumped in his chair.

"Did you just manage to shut Blondie up?"

"Aw, I always expected that to go a bit more rough and angry." Isabela spoke as if she was stuck in her thoughts, grinning widely at her own words. "Maker, Isabela, no." Sebastian instantly stopped her.

"It would never go in any way you imagine." Fenris admitted. "I'd rather die."

That caused immediate laughter throughout the table, from all except Anders. 

"I'm not excruciatingly ugly, Fenris, geez."

"I beg to differ."

"I-- as if you're the finest tool in the shed!" Anders quickly defended.

"I beg to differ!" Isabela interrupted in between her fit of giggles.

"Whatever. I'll have you know there is _plenty_ of men and women who would disagree with your statement." Anders brushed some hair behind his ear and winked, before the rest laughed even more. "Stop it! I'm serious!"

"Of course you are, mage." Fenris' half-smile was present again, and he let out a small airy chuckle.

"I like this new version of you two. Your bickering is almost legendary rather than annoying." Hawke giggled, "Though it's weird, did you two actually bang or something?"

Anders barked a laugh, "No. We didn't."

"Do not mistake my ability to be civil for friendship, Hawke. I simply do not wish to ruin out Wicked Grace game." Fenris shrugged.

"Ah, and here I thought I made some process." Anders teased, Fenris scowling. "I'd suggest not to try."

"There they are." Varric chuckled, "That's the Broody and Blondie we know."

Anders chuckled, though on the inside of his mind he held the same struggle he's been having for over a year now, since Fenris appeared.

_'He is distracting us again.'_

_'He won't ever remember me, will he?'_

_'I thought we had established that.'_

_'We had, but I still hoped…'_

_'I know you did. I had hoped as well.'_

_'Perhaps if he recognized me, getting along would be so much easier… I could get him to see the truth, that his hatred for mages is wrong.'_

_'It would be unjust to try and get him to remember. Perhaps he doesn't wish to.'_

_'It hurts me that you're right. It doesn't seem like he does at all.'_

_'We must get over this regardless of his memory. We have a mission to complete.'_

_'I know.'_

"You alright, Anders?" The mage felt the light touch on the shoulder of a female, looking to his side to see Merrill. 

"Yes, I'm fine." He held back any rudeness that he would usually throw at her, only because she seemed genuinely worried, and forced a smile.

The rest of the night didn't seem to go by fast enough for the mage.

Now he found himself on his way back to his clinic, his Justice side keeping his guard up while he was stuck in his thoughts.

He stepped onto the lift, fumbling with the belts on his coat as he sighed. "I can't believe my dumb childish self actually began to have a crush on him." He whispered to himself.

_'You did not know better.'_

"But I did… I knew liking someone that way wasn't a good plan. I barely knew him, for Andraste's sake. I kissed him once and everything but…"

_'It was not a romantic kiss.'_

"No, it wasn't romantic… but it was a kiss. How can he not… how could he not remember me..?"

_'He was traumatized.'_

"Just imagine how he could be if he wasn't fucked up by Danarius… he could be free, like he longed to be then, how we both felt when we were together…" Anders whisper faded to almost a mouthing of words as the light sound of boots hitting ground replaced the noise. He was making a beeline for his clinic, no distractions.

_'You still care for him.'_

"Even after all the bullshit he's spoken of."

_'You love him.'_

"I don't think it ever left."

_'But it would be unjust to force yourself upon him. He does not remember. It would make it worse.'_

"He hates mages anyway. It would end in disaster."

_'We have a mission.'_

"Yes, damnit, I know, Justice." Anders groaned a bit, opening the door to his clinic before he stepped in, locking it behind him. 

_'We mustn't let him distract us from it.'_


End file.
